Dr. Hayden Kho Needs Help

Although it won’t be coming from me.

It’s hard to generate any sympathy for a jerk who has been gifted with so much, in the looks (obviously, as those he bedded are as comely as they come) and brains (he’s an M.D. after all) department, yet has thrown it all away for a few destructive and less-than-cheap thrills. Dr. Kho is proof that moral depravity and plain dumb-ass (those who have seen the videos know that I mean this literally) imbecility cuts across professional boundaries. Somehow this makes us lawyers feel better.

Depraved. Criminal. Swinish (“sobrang binaboy” or “excessive piggery”, as Ms. Katrina Halili so aptly puts it). There won’t be any shortage of adjectives to describe Kho’s actions. Yet it’s undeniable that Kho is sick and needs professional help from his peers. He has displayed the classic symptoms of sex addiction, and his life has become unmanageable. This shouldn’t keep him from answering for his misdeeds in the courts, before those who regulate his profession and a rightfully irate public. But before he’s strung up high on the nearest tree, he should at least be made well enough to understand the gravity of his acts. For that, there ought to be some form of intervention from those who may still care for him.

Furthermore, those leading the mob may not themselves have clean hands, as Senator Bong Revilla would be the first to admit. I suspect that the outrage exhibited by most of the men who have so righteously condemned Kho stems from the shock of self-recognition. There, but for the grace of God go (or more accurately, come) I.

And if we were to take Secretary Eduardo Ermita up on his statement that “anything that is offensive to public morals must be sanctioned” , then I suspect an overwhelming majority of our good and esteemed public officials would be in the same shoes as Kho. This is clearly, as my friend Alvin would say, a case of the anaconda calling the cobra a snake.

Neither are those groups who supposedly champion the victims’ cause themselves blameless. Gabriela, for instance, with its penchant for hitching its broad (pun intended) political agenda to any passing mare, has diluted its credibility by its shrill and simple-minded presentation of most issues. With the unfortunate result that it has been less than effective in advancing the interests of its constituents, as shown by the Subic rape case.

It’s easy to feel contempt for a pig like Kho. But in our haste to cast the first stone, we may be revealing more about ourselves than we care to admit.

18 thoughts on “Dr. Hayden Kho Needs Help”

  1. “On Swinish and excessive piggery”

    Poor pigs. They were blamed for flu (which is not really the case).

    Now their name is used to describe a sexual act or perversion. From a veterinarian’s perspective, the only peculiarity in swine reproduction is the penis of the boar. It is cork screw in shape. Is this describing Dr. Haydon Kho?

  2. The case is just a minutia that represents hundreds more across the Filipino webspace. It isnt surprising that most of them even featured professionals and students from well-known universities. But with more than forty videos (with forty different girls?), Hayden really needs psychiatric health (what a maniac)!

  3. well… for screwing someone’s boyfriend, who by the way paid a great deal of money to get you as an endorser, and who treated you sooo nicely, its called karma! there are guys who are fettish on things like this, why do you think cyber space porno is a lucrative business? and so is other pyscho habits guys do! they are so sexual that it can get them crazy at times. There are lots of people who video themselves, hey! it’s a private thingee. Sadly, someone exposed it! that is where the problem started!… that’s the trade off, mirisi

  4. is there really a thing as “sex addiction”? or was this a well crafted diagnoses by psychologists? Perhaps the man is a wrong profession, perhaps his talent is not with stethoscope but in the art of making out.

    And what this girl Halili, i never heard her say it wasnt’ consensual. To say “binababoy” after the fact is something to be proven. I think the problem is we are taking the sides of women all the time. As if all women are like our mothers. It is naive to think that Filipina women in general are incapable of being manipulative. Heard about that Filipina mail order bride who had her two american husbands killed for insurance money?

  5. @ Wyatt, have to agree doc. Pigs have been unfairly maligned. Not only are they intelligent, sensitive creatures, they’re delicious too, if done well.

    Thanks, New Media, for the compliment. I’ve been considering giving up blogging lately as I felt I had nothing new to say. Nice to be appreciated.

    @ Vin, this phenomenon has been on the rise although below-the -radar for most of us until l’affaire Kho came to light. Certainly devastating for the victims. The silver lining is that this should make people more aware and cautious. Halili deserves commendation for bringing the matter to light and standing up for her rights and that of other victimized women.

    @ Kikay, it may have been karma, but the fact that Halili cheated with Belo’s boyfriend does not justify the latter’s conduct. Sadly, Belo is a victim herself here many times over.

    @ Cayote, no doubt it was consensual. But the issue here is the gross violation of privacy and public humiliation inflicted by Kho on his victims. Reputations and lives have been wrecked.

  6. For goodness sakes, no one did anything with Revilla senior’s serial adultery, so why crucify this guy for being wantable?

    There’s a case for taking videos without his partners’ consent but is that murder, theft, adultery? Lives have been ruined? That’s not entirely the fault of the video taker. Our hypocrisy has to be blamed as well. Modern society has no use for scapegoats, I think.

  7. warrior,

    public humiliation? What makes us think that the showing of these videos have not humiliated Hayden as well? Dont forget he is a physician. He has more to loss financially and professionally than most of these women.

    what are we gonna do about his privacy and proprietary rights to these videos? Just because he is a man does not mean its alright to have the public see his butt. Remember Hayden has a 50% proprietary rights to all these videos?

  8. Cayote, the main issue is that Kho violated the trust and right to privacy of these women by videotaping them in compromising positions without their knowledge and consent. Whether or not Kho caused the dissemination of the videos online is moot, as the fact remains that these women have been put to shame by the viral spreading of the sex videos. Kho brought his woes upon himself by secretly taking those videos in the first place.

  9. For the sake of argument, granting that these women are entitled to damages, what cause of action can they claim against hayden for videotaping the sex acts? I agree it was morally wrong but was it unlawful and legally wrong? I don’t think the women can claim breach of privilege communications or illegal wiretapping. I seriously doubt there is a law out there that you can throw against an actor of a consensual private tryst for videotaping without consent from the actor partner. If the videotaping was made by anyone other than the actors, then possible invasion of privacy. Recall also that two unmarried adults having consensual sex in a private place is not illegal in the Philippines. What hayden did was to film a private non-illegal event for posterity. What happened is no different than attending a private party, where the host secretly filmed the celebration. Can the guests sue the host for invasion of privacy or any criminal wrongdoings? Of course not. If the host sold the film and made money, yes the guests can sue for share of the earnings.

    How about if Kristina made the film without consent from Hayden? Can Hayden also claim “binaboy”? My guess is Hayden will still be blamed, this time for being stupid, not a real man for complaining, acting like a baby, etc. Because women’s group continue to nag about women’s right and sexual discrimination, what about the term “reverse sexism”?

  10. When ancient Philippines society was backward, we cried out for technological advancement. When we reached the desired stage, we complained of the consequences! We should note down that the video scandal is a the result of the ” advancement.”

    The fact that Halili entered in Hayden’s fucking room, there is consent. The bad side is when she was forcibly send out before her ejaculation.

  11. Thanks Coyote for telling it like it it! I appreciate your comments and I think legally, you are soooo right! I mean,it’s the 21st century now.At 54, I thought I’d be old fashioned but I didnt know how many prudes and hypocrites there are around.I did not watch those videos.I ve been there, done that and I know what it’s like.I didnt think less of Katrina or any other ladies in those sex videos.Of course I think Hayden is a cad but being a cad is not the same as having a criminal mind.Anyway, this will all be over in time.Let’s just all simmer down and breathe deeply..Let’s not hyperventilate over the issue.

  12. Project Human Heart – Compassion, Love and Forgiveness
    = With the touch of human heart we can live in peace =
    Written by Mike Hirama


    Today, I would like to kindly ask you to give me a few minutes of your time to read my letter to you. This is not about me. This is about you, your friends and family and the country you dearly love: the Philippines. There is one young man living in Manila whose life you may not care at all, but I would like to introduce him to you. His name is Dr. Hayden Kho, Jr. Perhaps you hate him to death, but I beg you on my knees to just please give me a chance to speak to you.

    Some 2000 years ago, Jesus did not just teach his followers; if he did, he would just be a god of Christians at the most, but God of all. He invited from sinners to roman soldiers who were vengefully against him. In fact, he accepted all people with everlasting compassion. What Jesus taught was the meaning of compassion with his deeds. Compassion or compassium in Latin means “to suffer with.” By showing His unconditional love for all people whose life had been continued to divine and sander with agony and hatred, He suffered with them for their suffering was his suffering; and by showing love, He suffered with them.

    Even till this day, words of Jesus stand firmly in the hearts of people. By sharing their suffering as your owns is to love them as your own kind and to love Jesus; and that was his teachings. Yet, unfortunately many have turned their backs against the teachings of Jesus; and turn to people with agony and hatred that continue to divide and sander people, which Jesus firmly stood against 2000 years ago. Sadly even after two millennia, people still hate each other and on each other’s throat.

    Think of Dr. Hayden Kho, Jr. just for a minute. You know the scandals. As he admitted he made mistakes, but please think of what he is going through right now. He has the entire nation all up in arms against him: from the careless gossips on each street all the way up to the senate and even NBI. What you may not notice is that he is suffering intolerably and he is being torn apart alive. Is it not more than enough for his misdeeds? What he is going through – agony, suffering, vast sense of desolation and immense isolation – are far more than his misdeeds can ever justify, and this is already injustice, and yet, people still want to torment him more. I want to ask you: “how much more pain do you have to inflict on him before you are satisfied?”

    There are many of you who believe in the words of Jesus, and yet somehow manage to do the exact opposite of his teachings by raising their fists of anger and coarse words against him. If you say what you do is justice, I kindly ask you to look at yourself. You are just as good or bad as your words and deeds are; and I cannot help, but wonder what is so just about raising fists of anger and coarse words. When people live in anger, there can never be peace among us but what remains are agony and hatred that will simply divide and sander us even further. Yet, if we could show even a bit of compassion, love and forgiveness; and really give a touch of human heart to others; we can live in peace.

    I want you to think how you would feel if you have the entire nation standing against you in outrage and violence. Perhaps no words can ever match how you would feel, how your friends and family would feel; and you would be crying out for mercy because you are a human. That is exactly what Dr. Kho, Jr., his friends and family and everyone around him are going through. He has gone more than enough; and it is about the time for us to feel what he is going through as our own suffering, and show him compassion, love and forgiveness; and reach out to him him with a touch of human heart. We can do that because we are human, and he deserves that because he is also a human being with heart and emotion just like me, you or everyone else.

    By showing him compassion, human love and forgiveness that come from a touch of human heart you can offer, you do good for yourself, for your friends and family and for the country. Please think. You can do it.

    Thank you for taking your time.

    Mike Hirama
    [email protected]
    The Founder of Hayden Kho Support Group

  13. Kho = baduy. Halili = extremely baduy. Okay, they’re not visually offensive but I took the time to listen to their sex video’s “soundtrack” and my disdain blossomed as soon as I heard the first word. Eek.

    I don’t particularly think Kho is an asshole for having filmed his sexcapades, but I think he was dumb to let his freinds know where to find his tapes. I don’t feel at all sorry for Halili because, well, she’s just another criada who happens to be pretty and her coming out on film like this should have been an assumed risk.

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